The Red Tape Recorder

"You're not welcome around here"

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 11:42:15 GMT

The world is a frightening place, doubly so in metropolitan areas. In fact, it�s a rock-solid certainty in these troubled times that around almost any corner a new menace could lurk, skulking in the half shadows of some neon-lit urban walkway, where toddlers chew live ammunition and housing estates compete with one another � Britain in Bloom style � for which one can smell the most like tramp�s piss. So, it was with some surprise that residents...

"It may take 7-14 days to put out a fire".

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 16:56:45 GMT

A few years ago, I worked in an office in north London. One day, I happened to look out of my window and noticed a small plume of smoke curling from the litter bin in the smokers� courtyard. A small fire had developed which looked as though it could easily spread to nearby bushes.

Feeling that calling the fire brigade would be somewhat over-zealous, I rang the Facilities Management department. They asked me...

The End of the Line.

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 16:54:55 GMT

After I had been job hunting a little while, I decided I needed to sign on until I got a job. I went to the Jobcentre and talked to a lady who told me I would need to make an appointment.

'Can I make an appointment then?'
'No, you will have to phone to make an appointment'
OK. 'So if I phone where will it go through to'
'Here,' the Jobcentre lady said.

TV: A Licence to Bill.

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 16:48:51 GMT

Two separate accounts here - highlighting the differences between engaging the forces of bureaucracy and trying to ignore them. As you can see, the difference is hard to perceive, except for our second victim who now has a slightly higher phone bill than our first.

This is the mark of a true bureaucracy - whether or not you engage with it does not matter, it has satisfied an internal process and just...